Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
6ix9ine
American rapper from new york.
Born May 8th, 1996 in Brooklyn. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ March 12th, 2026 at 29 years old
Gilles Vigneault
Canadian poet and singer-songwriter.
Born October 27th, 1928 in Natashquan.
Going-2-Die™ March 11th, 2026 at 97 years old
Jin Ziwei
Chinese rower.
Born October 17th, 1985 in Shenyang.
Going-2-Die™ March 13th, 2026 at 40 years old
Víctor Brown
Bolivian footballer.
Born March 7th, 1927 in Bolivia.
Going-2-Die™ March 9th, 2026 at 99 years old
Léon Tom
Bobsledder, fencer.
Born October 25th, 1888 in Antwerp.
Going-2-Die™ March 9th, 2026 at 137 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1740290619
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NDAyOTA2MTksImlkcyI6WzQzNTQ0NSwzOTYxOTcsNDAxNDcs%0ANTc5OTMxLDE1NzU3Ml19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude. Thornton Wilder