Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Michael Fassbender
German-born irish actor.
Born April 2nd, 1977 in Heidelberg.
Going-2-Die™ October 24th, 2025 at 48 years old
Elias James Corey
American chemist.
Born July 12th, 1928 in Methuen.
Going-2-Die™ October 22nd, 2025 at 97 years old
François Cheng
Chinese-born french writer, poet and calligrapher.
Born August 30th, 1929 in Nanchang.
Going-2-Die™ October 23rd, 2025 at 96 years old
Kaisa Matomäki
Finnish mathematician.
Born April 30th, 1985 in Nakkila.
Going-2-Die™ October 22nd, 2025 at 40 years old
Paul Aeby
Swiss footballer.
Born September 10th, 1910 in Bern, Fribourg.
Going-2-Die™ October 25th, 2025 at 115 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1761029634
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjEwMjk2MzQsImlkcyI6WzQ2NTMwLDQxNjgwOSw0Mzg5Njgs%0ANTc3NjE0LDU0Mzg5OF19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Do not fear death. Death is always at our side. When we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light. But, if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity. Laughing Bull