Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Danny DeVito
American actor, comedian, and filmmaker.
Born November 13th, 1943 in Neptune Township.
Going-2-Die™ July 6th, 2025 at 81 years old
Patricia Routledge
English actress and singer.
Born February 17th, 1929 in Birkenhead.
Going-2-Die™ July 6th, 2025 at 96 years old
Willy Hufschmid
Swiss handball player.
Born October 9th, 1918 in Switzerland.
Going-2-Die™ July 9th, 2025 at 106 years old
Paweł Franczak
Polish bicycle racer.
Born October 7th, 1991 in Nysa.
Going-2-Die™ July 8th, 2025 at 33 years old
Charles Crahay
Fencer.
Born November 9th, 1889 in Antwerp.
Going-2-Die™ July 9th, 2025 at 135 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1751837374
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NTE4MzczNzQsImlkcyI6WzQyNDgyMywzOTcxNTYsNTIyOTUs%0ANjEwNzYzLDYwODE5XX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die. Leonardo da Vinci