Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Millie Bobby Brown
British actress.
Born February 19th, 2004 in Marbella.
Going-2-Die™ April 29th, 2026 at 22 years old
Bonnie Bartlett
American actress.
Born June 20th, 1929 in Wisconsin Rapids.
Going-2-Die™ May 2nd, 2026 at 96 years old
Farida Khanum
Pakistani classical singer.
Born January 6th, 1929 in Kolkata.
Going-2-Die™ April 29th, 2026 at 97 years old
Bernard Fellay
Swiss bishop.
Born April 12th, 1958 in Sierre.
Going-2-Die™ May 3rd, 2026 at 68 years old
Mohammad Hasan Sharq
Prime minister of afghanistan.
Born July 17th, 1925 in Anar Dara District.
Going-2-Die™ May 3rd, 2026 at 100 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1777426676
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3Nzc0MjY2NzYsImlkcyI6WzcxOTg4LDY4NzM4OCw0MzMxMjIs%0ANDkyMDU3LDE1NzYzNV19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Do not fear death. Death is always at our side. When we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light. But, if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity. Laughing Bull