Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Bill Clinton
42nd president of the united states.
Born August 19th, 1946 in Hope. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ April 25th, 2026 at 79 years old
Joanne Woodward
American actress (born 1930).
Born February 27th, 1930 in Thomasville.
Going-2-Die™ April 26th, 2026 at 96 years old
Simone Perrotta
Italian association football player.
Born September 17th, 1977 in Ashton-under-Lyne.
Going-2-Die™ April 25th, 2026 at 48 years old
Farida Khanum
Pakistani classical singer.
Born January 6th, 1929 in Kolkata.
Going-2-Die™ April 25th, 2026 at 97 years old
Laura Cardoso
Brazilian actress and former voice actress.
Born September 13th, 1927 in São Paulo.
Going-2-Die™ April 25th, 2026 at 98 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1777077064
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NzcwNzcwNjQsImlkcyI6WzU3NzcyLDQzNjIyOCw2ODczODgs%0ANTQ1MzY3LDg2MjI0XX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away. Terry Pratchett