Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Leontyne Price
American soprano.
Born February 10th, 1927 in Laurel.
Going-2-Die™ July 9th, 2025 at 98 years old
Ruthie Bolton
American women's basketball player.
Born May 25th, 1967 in Lucedale.
Going-2-Die™ July 12th, 2025 at 58 years old
Mario Mena
Bolivian footballer.
Born December 9th, 1923 in Tarija.
Going-2-Die™ July 8th, 2025 at 101 years old
Manuel Chorens
Cuban footballer.
Born January 22nd, 1916 in A Coruña Province.
Going-2-Die™ July 11th, 2025 at 109 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1751955259
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NTE5NTUyNTksImlkcyI6WzQyMjUwNiw2NTc5MCw0MzA1MDAs%0AMzI4MDQ0LDUwMzM3XX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. Mark Twain