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Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
American actor and film producer (born 1974).
Born November 11th, 1974 in Los Angeles. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ March 7th, 2026 at 51 years old
American linguist and activist (born 1928).
Born December 7th, 1928 in Philadelphia, East Oak Lane. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ March 7th, 2026 at 97 years old
Indian politician.
Born November 8th, 1927 in Karachi.
Going-2-Die™ March 7th, 2026 at 98 years old
Swedish-american pole vaulter.
Born November 10th, 1999 in Lafayette. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ March 10th, 2026 at 26 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1740152889
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NDAxNTI4ODksImlkcyI6WzY2MDU1LDQwNTQ0Nyw0MzY0MzYs%0AMzY5ODA5LDEwOTg1MF19%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
I want to be all used up when I die. George Bernard Shaw