deathpulse

Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions

You can now subscribe to our newsletter to enjoy personalized deathpulse updates delivered to your inbox!

Happy New Year! Let's put last year behind us, along with all the death that came in 2023.

Who's next?

Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.

Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.

Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:

Which notable people are most likely to die next??

How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???

Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:

We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.

One of the weirdos

Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!

Drum roll, please...

American comedian and actor (born 1973).

Born August 24th, 1973 in Washington, D.C..

Argentine actor.

Born September 21st, 1929 in Buenos Aires.

Brazilian footballer.

Born May 2nd, 2003 in Itapetinga.

Cyclist.

Born March 3rd, 1924 in Le Havre.

Fencer.

Born November 9th, 1889 in Antwerp.

Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.

C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?

And if they don't come true?

Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!

      Prediction run #1734952234
      Algorithm v0.2
      Quant employee ID 348

Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!

You’ll drift apart, it’s true, but you’ll be out in the open, part of everything alive again. Philip Pullman