Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Alia Bhatt
Indian-origin british actress.
Born March 15th, 1993 in London.
Going-2-Die™ October 23rd, 2025 at 32 years old
Christian Meier
German historian of ancient history and professor.
Born February 16th, 1929 in Słupsk.
Going-2-Die™ October 26th, 2025 at 96 years old
Rogério Gaúcho
Brazilian footballer.
Born September 28th, 1979 in Assis Chateaubriand.
Going-2-Die™ October 26th, 2025 at 46 years old
Käthe Köhler
Diver.
Born November 10th, 1913 in Hamburg.
Going-2-Die™ October 24th, 2025 at 111 years old
Heinrich Krug
German water polo player.
Born September 22nd, 1911 in Berlin.
Going-2-Die™ October 24th, 2025 at 114 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1761198941
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjExOTg5NDEsImlkcyI6WzQzODI5NCw0MjAzMTUsNDE3ODk5%0ALDU1MjczMywxNTI4NjZdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Death? Be as proud as you want: bore me later, because Love is sovereign here. Life never ends. Joy comes in the morning. Glory hallelujah. And let it be so. Anne Lamott