Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Demi Moore
American actress and producer (born 1962).
Born November 11th, 1962 in Roswell.
Going-2-Die™ December 23rd, 2025 at 63 years old
Tomi Juric
Australian association football player.
Born July 22nd, 1991 in Sydney.
Going-2-Die™ December 23rd, 2025 at 34 years old
Matthew Meselson
American geneticist and molecular biologist.
Born May 24th, 1930 in Denver.
Going-2-Die™ December 26th, 2025 at 95 years old
André Darrigade
Racing cyclist.
Born April 24th, 1929 in Narrosse.
Going-2-Die™ December 26th, 2025 at 96 years old
Irwin I. Shapiro
American astrophysicist.
Born October 10th, 1929 in New York City.
Going-2-Die™ December 25th, 2025 at 96 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1766417412
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjY0MTc0MTIsImlkcyI6WzYyODAyLDQzODQ1MSw0MTgyMyw2%0AMDkzMzIsOTUzMzJdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Death is the ultimate boundary of human matters. Horace