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Feeling experimental? Head on over to our newest (and darkest) feature: Next-2-Die™ predictions
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
Drum roll, please...
American actor and football player (born 1968).
Born July 30th, 1968 in Flint.
Going-2-Die™ September 22nd, 2024 at 56 years old
American soprano.
Born February 10th, 1927 in Laurel.
Going-2-Die™ September 21st, 2024 at 97 years old
Turkish association football player.
Born January 18th, 1999 in Düsseldorf.
Going-2-Die™ September 22nd, 2024 at 25 years old
Greek pole vaulter.
Born August 15th, 1929 in Tripoli.
Going-2-Die™ September 22nd, 2024 at 95 years old
French politician.
Born April 10th, 1929 in Pessac.
Going-2-Die™ September 21st, 2024 at 95 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1726782591 Algorithm v0.2 Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3MjY3ODI1OTEsImlkcyI6WzQzODQ2NCw0Mzg5NzUsNjU3OTAs%0ANjM2Mzg2LDEzNjM2M119%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Losing your life is not the worst thing that can happen. The worst thing is to lose your reason for living. Jo Nesbø