Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Salma Hayek
Mexican actress and producer.
Born September 2nd, 1966 in Coatzacoalcos.
Going-2-Die™ December 30th, 2025 at 59 years old
Sfera Ebbasta
Italian rapper (1992-).
Born December 7th, 1992 in Sesto San Giovanni.
Going-2-Die™ December 29th, 2025 at 33 years old
Mario Ghella
Italian cyclist, 1948 olympic gold in individual sprint.
Born June 23rd, 1929 in Chieri.
Going-2-Die™ December 30th, 2025 at 96 years old
Paul Aeby
Swiss footballer.
Born September 10th, 1910 in Bern, Fribourg.
Going-2-Die™ December 30th, 2025 at 115 years old
Käthe Köhler
Diver.
Born November 10th, 1913 in Hamburg.
Going-2-Die™ December 27th, 2025 at 112 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1766709647
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjY3MDk2NDcsImlkcyI6WzQxNjgwOSw0Mzg2OTcsNDIwMzE1%0ALDYxNTc1Nyw1MTI0MjFdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
I’m not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen