Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Tyson Fury
British boxer (born 1988).
Born August 12th, 1988 in Manchester. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ January 1st, 2026 at 37 years old
Adam McKay
American actor, comedian and director.
Born April 17th, 1968 in Philadelphia.
Going-2-Die™ January 4th, 2026 at 57 years old
Laurence Rosenthal
American composer.
Born November 4th, 1926 in Detroit.
Going-2-Die™ January 4th, 2026 at 99 years old
Ninel Krutova
Female russian diver who competed at the olympics 1952-1960.
Born January 3rd, 1926 in Kyiv.
Going-2-Die™ January 4th, 2026 at 100 years old
Helmut Cämmerer
Canoe racer.
Born May 5th, 1911 in Hamburg.
Going-2-Die™ January 5th, 2026 at 114 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1767255470
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjcyNTU0NzAsImlkcyI6WzQzMzgzNyw1ODUyOCw0MTc1MTQs%0AMTQ1ODc1LDI4OTU2M119%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough. William Saroyan