Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Jake Paul
American youtuber and internet personality.
Born January 17th, 1997 in Cleveland. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ July 21st, 2025 at 28 years old
William Russell
British financier and politician.
Born April 15th, 1965 in London.
Going-2-Die™ July 19th, 2025 at 60 years old
Peter-Lukas Graf
Swiss musician.
Born January 5th, 1929 in Zürich.
Going-2-Die™ July 19th, 2025 at 96 years old
Robert Mouynet
French footballer.
Born March 25th, 1930 in Toulouse.
Going-2-Die™ July 19th, 2025 at 95 years old
Francisco Sosa
Paraguayan footballer.
Born October 4th, 1917 in Paraguay.
Going-2-Die™ July 21st, 2025 at 107 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1752888049
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NTI4ODgwNDksImlkcyI6WzQzODA3MSw0Mzk4MzUsNDIzOTcx%0ALDI2MzE1MywxNTQzNTldfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can. But life leaps over oblivion lightly, losing only a thing or two of no importance, and gloom is just a passing shadow of a cloud. Yann Martel