Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Woody Allen
American filmmaker, actor and comedian (born 1935).
Born December 1st, 1935 in The Bronx.
Going-2-Die™ December 2nd, 2025 at 90 years old
John Cullum
American actor, director and singer.
Born March 2nd, 1930 in Knoxville.
Going-2-Die™ December 3rd, 2025 at 95 years old
Oliver Golding
British professional tennis player and child actor.
Born September 29th, 1993 in London Borough of Richmond upon Thames.
Going-2-Die™ December 6th, 2025 at 32 years old
Stephen M. Schwebel
American judge.
Born March 10th, 1929 in New York City. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ December 5th, 2025 at 96 years old
Herbert Wiedermann
Austrian sprint canoeist, born 1927.
Born November 1st, 1927 in Steindorf am Ossiacher See.
Going-2-Die™ December 4th, 2025 at 98 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1764700117
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjQ3MDAxMTcsImlkcyI6WzQzNjI3NCw1MjQxMiw1NzkwOCwx%0ANTQ4MTAsNzAxMzNdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Though death be poor, it ends a mortal woe. William Shakespeare