Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
The Undertaker
American professional wrestler.
Born March 24th, 1965 in Houston.
Going-2-Die™ December 29th, 2025 at 60 years old
Teofisto Guingona Jr.
Filipino politician.
Born July 4th, 1928 in San Juan.
Going-2-Die™ January 1st, 2026 at 97 years old
Rubén Peña
Spanish footballer.
Born July 18th, 1992 in Ávila.
Going-2-Die™ December 30th, 2025 at 33 years old
Song Ping
Former politburo standing committee member of the communist party of china.
Born April 30th, 1917 in Ju County. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ December 28th, 2025 at 108 years old
Trude Beiser
Alpine skier.
Born September 2nd, 1927 in Lech.
Going-2-Die™ December 28th, 2025 at 98 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1766907655
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3NjY5MDc2NTUsImlkcyI6WzQzNzQyOSw0MjM1NzgsNDM2MTcx%0ALDYwOTU2MSwxMTU2MDFdfQ%3D%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
I could just remember how my father used to say that the reason for living was to get ready to stay dead a long time. William Faulkner