Who's next?
We've been crunching the numbers...
Some people say this a waste of talent, and a waste of computing resources. Maybe.
Others have said this proves we lack class, or even basic decency. Very possible.
Regardless, our research shows almost everybody just wants to know one thing:
Which notable people are most likely to die next??
How could anyone answer this question? Impossible isn't it? Only baby jesus could know such things right???
Prepare to have your mind blown. Introducing:
The Deathpulse Reaper-Quant Team ™
Brilliant. Dark. Human-computer machines.
We write algorithms only the darkest and most depraved computers can interpret, and execute.
Nerds. We barely pay them anything, but they live for this death stuff. So what's the harm? We all get to "reap" (hahaha) the benefits!
The Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions are:
Drum roll, please...
Emma Stone
American actress.
Born November 6th, 1988 in Scottsdale. [ref]
Going-2-Die™ May 23rd, 2024 at 35 years old
Geoff Barrow
British musician and instrumentalist for the band portishead.
Born December 9th, 1971 in Walton in Gordano.
Going-2-Die™ May 20th, 2024 at 52 years old
Ray Anthony
American bandleader, trumpeter, songwriter, and actor.
Born January 20th, 1922 in Bentleyville.
Going-2-Die™ May 19th, 2024 at 102 years old
Archbishop Dimitrios of America
Greek orthodox archbishop.
Born February 1st, 1928 in Thessaloniki.
Going-2-Die™ May 23rd, 2024 at 96 years old
Mary Tsingou
American physicist and mathematician.
Born October 14th, 1928 in Milwaukee.
Going-2-Die™ May 23rd, 2024 at 95 years old
Spooky right?? Well...if any of these predictions come true it would be.
C'mon, you'd be impressed. You'd tell a friend. Maybe click on an advertisement or two?
And if they don't come true?
Suppose that's good news, cause these fine people will live to reap (hahaha) another day!
Prediction run #1716088703
Algorithm v0.2
Quant employee ID 348
We'll keep improving our predictions, but you can share these exact results using:
https://www.deathpulse.com/next?key=eyJydW4iOjE3MTYwODg3MDMsImlkcyI6WzQwMzIwLDM5NjUzLDQzNjY5MSwx%0AMjQyNDgsMTQ5Nzg4XX0%3D%0A
Ya'll come on back any time for more Deathpulse.com Next-2-Die™ predictions!
Death is the ultimate boundary of human matters. Horace